Saturday, January 9, 2016

Midnight Writing Jan 9, 2016

Some people travel through the Shadowlands and after trial and tribulation they emerge. They shake off the dark soot of so many sorrows and return to the sun.

But I lived in the Shadowlands. I ate of the fruit and drank from bitter and saline streams. Years have passed here and the Shadowlands have swallowed decades. Now even though I, at times, emerge into the whiteness of the midday sun, I know that the Shadow is with me, hidden beneath my heel.  For I have learned, after long and ardent denial, that the Shadows live within me.

Friday, January 1, 2016

The best resolution, for me.

I have been through the routine of making resolutions.  Starting them with all good intent. The determination to hold onto that promise to yourself, to be thinner, to be nicer, to improve, to conquer. Then the inevitable crash as life and resolution meet head on, and the crumpling of resolve as you realized that life is going to win this round.

Not to worry.  Tomorrow is another day. And you get back on your resolution, but maybe now at 98% determined to succeed. By mid-January if you are still committed at all it is only when it is convenient, or above 50 degrees, or only with relatives.  The resolution has contracted, a bit like the pupil of the eye when it is hit by the bright light of day.

So, I have learned that for me the best resolutions are the ones that have some built in flexibility, like the pupil of the eye they can scale to the situation around us. Last year I finally struck upon the best resolution for me, to be happy.

Nothing more than that.

It may sound simple, even simplistic, but it is for me a massive goal.  And it takes into account all the variables that run in and out of my life. My happiness is my responsibility, not yours, not my friends, not the Universe.  Mine.

So happiness.  It comes in all sizes and shapes. Little things like a cold glass of water or a hot shower.  Complex things like a new opera, or a skill to learn, or the interplay of light and shadow in a painting. Big things, like the birth of a new niece or nephew, an addition to the house, or the construction of a new porch.  Internal things, like finding my own answers, or coming to a new realization.  External things, like finding a new friend, or running a mile, or maybe even conquering that pull up, finally.

It's not a little goal. But it is a goal that I can strive to achieve or recognize every day. It is a small change that will bring great rewards to my life and the lives of those around me. And for me, that is the best sort of resolution.